I know, I know we are supposed to be on a break! But I’ve realised over the past week that blogging has become my therapeutic ‘vent’, without which I will likely explode and divorce papers will be signed…
So I’m writing a quick sneaky post about the joyful Christmas that we have just celebrated endured. When I say that we have renamed this festive time of year ‘Sickmas’, it may give you some indication as to just how jolly our week has been.
I feel maybe it was karma coming to pay me a visit, after my equally non-festive posts about the Christmas tree (which is still standing, unlike us), and Christmas furore which never fails to irritate me! Clearly karma does not like a bit of honesty, and in future I will only write happy posts full of short bread and lemonade. Pah!
So without further ado, let me set the scene. It was Christmas eve, I had finally bought and wrapped all of the presents, cards had been sent, veggie food had been cooked, food and drink had been purchased and ‘Santa’ had placed the last present beneath the tree. Prosecco had been consumed and I had collapsed in a heap on the sofa. All was good with the world and I was finally ready for the big day… Well at least that’s what I thought.
At 3am, the children were all actually asleep, as was I (it was a Christmas miracle), when I was suddenly awoken by a feeling of impending doom and a sound that made me question the plumbing in my own home. What was that noise? Oh dear lord it was coming from me!… Norovirus struck me down like a medicine ball in a bowling alley! I spent the rest of the night shivering downstairs in the living room and running to and from the bathroom. Ho Ho Ho!
At 6am my (oh so caring) husband realised that I was not in bed and came downstairs to see if I was ok. I was truly a sight to behold, all pale and sweaty and slightly green. I was immediately sent to bed for about 10 minutes before the children got up and started shouting “IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!” – Oh man.
I ventured back downstairs to try to watch the children unwrap presents without touching anyone or anything and without being sick on their heads!
My eldest son was looking paler than usual, he’d already been a bit peaky in the run up to Christmas. Suddenly he was full of snot and sneezes and a sky high temperature. Oh MERRY BLOODY CHRISTMAS!
I crawled back into bed, where I remained for 24 hours, leaving my poor husband to do Christmas with three children (one sick one), all by himself. I had to cancel Christmas dinner at my mums and in all honesty, I well and truly ruined Christmas.
Had it not been for the crippling stomach cramps and sickness a day in bed would have been an amazing Christmas present, but hey, when you’re a mum of three you take what you can get!
After a full day and night in bed I felt slightly less horrendous and ventured downstairs for bits of Boxing day, mainly to put the washing on and try to find my sitting room under the piles of boxes and toys. It is here that noticed that the little ones were quiet. Fear set in! Why were they quiet? What were they up to… oh, incubating the germs of more illness, that’s what they were doing!
From Boxing Day onwards our house has been full of bodily fluids leaking out of every child in the house. They cough until they’re sick and the cry and whine all day long. The littlest one has even added an ear infection to his Christmas spectacular, for which he now has antibiotics.
There have been several debates between my husband and I about how ill you actually have to be, before you are allowed to officially be ‘off duty’ as a parent. In our house it would seem that you have to be either, so contagious that you can’t handle food, or hospitalised! I have tried both over the years. Even when I was in labour with baby number three, I was still doing the food shopping in Sainsbury’s!
My husband has finally been struck down with the snots and general illness and is currently in bed feeling very proud of his temperature of 39 degrees! So that’s it, a full set! BINGO! We will not be out celebrating New Year, so rest assured that you are quite safe to leave your own homes.
In the world beyond our blog, 2016 has been a complete arse of a year with huge losses both personally and in the world of celebrity. So maybe Sickmas has been a fitting end to an equally horrendous year.
All I can say to you is thank you for reading our blog this year, Merry Sickmas and let’s hope that 2017 is a belter!…I’m off to find the Dettol!
Sarah. (I won’t put a kiss here just in case I’m contagious!)